Write To Fight: It's Too Cold Outside

Write To Fight is my emotional support. I do very well at keeping my composure and suppressing my emotions. The problem with suppressing emotions is that they eventually come to the surface. My emotions surface with the changes in the weather. At the beginning of Summer, Fall, and Winter, my emotions become out of control. I do not know if I will be the happiest I have ever been or on the verge of leaping off the edge. Spring, on the other hand, I know I will break. The only thing I've ever been able to do to control my emotions is to express them in writing every day. The writings take all the overwhelming stress and release it in the form of a creative outlet. This is my newest writing, "It's Too Cold Outside." 

I woke up really excited this morning

To wake up to the warm spring air

But for some reason

It’s still cold outside

So I put on a jacket to embrace the weather

It’s getting harder to keep it together

What if I’m like this forever

And never ever getting better

The way I feel steals my appetite

The words you say I don’t recognize

And for some reason

It’s still cold outside

I’m starting to feel entirely drain

I mean have of the time I don’t feel physical pain

It’s taking its toll on my mental state

You have to feel something so I’m feeling insane

I’ve tried to wait for this feeling to stop

But the burning in my chest and the buzzing in my head

Whispers in my ear that enough is enough

Every time I take a breath and Every time that I talk

There’s no solace here until it comes to an end

Only getting harder when my thoughts open to them

Pity in their eyes and worries from a friend

How long can I survive

When it’s too cold outside

 

I woke up ready to die this morning

But the sunshine was beaming down on my face

The first time this year it’s not cold outside

So I open my window to embrace the weather

All my pain wilts away and withers

I hope to feel like this forever

At least until I face November

Full of glee but still agree

Because this was going to be the last day for me

But what saved my life

Filled me with pride

For the first time this year

It feels warm outside